offtovisityourmother:

sheila—marie:

MY CAT HAS SEEN YOU MASTURBATE

I AM INCLINED TO BELIEVE OTHERWISE

SHUT UP YOUR CAT IS NOT A RELIABLE NARRATOR

*I sat on your back while you did the deed, bro.*

*I have seen things.*

Bc …….

myribcagedbrain:

gatsbycat:

= w= *rhythmic purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring*…..

Fat

shit.

…. *Cranes his neck and peers up at him through a pair of smug, half-lidded eyes.*

myribcagedbrain:

gatsbycat replied to your post: 

*Gonna make himself at home on the human’s lap. No claws or anything!*

Augh. aUGH. FINE.

*in an undertone* Fat shit.

*lights up*

= w= *rhythmic purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring*…..

……*The cartridge is just a little too big for his mouth, though.*

*How to improvise, how to improvise* …..

… !　

*Sniffing around his mother’s closet.*

-clears his throat-

wifeandtwokids:

… HAT. B|

*FLYING CAT-TACKLE ON HIS HEAD.*

myribcagedbrain:

No stop that sdhsdhgh

*pushes the cigarette in Gatsby’s face*

Fetch this. THIS.

…

*Flicks an ear and brushes his bushy tail across Nazarov’s face out of spite. Breathe in that dust and pet dander; it’s been a while since he’s been brushed.*

Mrrrrrrrr..

*But then the cat saunters off, presumably to go do whatever it is cats do that doesn’t involve playing fetch for ungrateful meatsacks with legs.*

(Source: gatsbycat)

myribcagedbrain replied to your post:

Fetch. Cigarettes. If you bring them I’ll give you the food. *Holds out the lit one in his mouth to the cat to sniff.*

…. *Rubs up against his hand.*